Can you remember how everyone started saying that the Xbox Series S looked a lot like a toaster? You’ll have seen all the memes I’m sure, and never one to miss a trick, Microsoft has made all of our breakfast dreams come true with this brand new Xbox Toaster.
We won’t ever be missing breakfast time ever again, I can assure you of that!
Do we need this in our lives? No… but will we be getting one for each desk here at Retro Dodo Towers?
You better believe it!
We normally talk about handhelds and gaming consoles here at Retro Dodo, but considering I’ve just had a boring slice of toast and am wishing for something a little tastier, I figured we’d knock some kitchenware out of the park in the hope of creating nerdier meal times for all.
So, if like The Stranglers you want toast that’s ‘golden brown’ with ‘texture like sun’ and an added Xbox logo, keep on reading!
Take A Mega-Bite Out Of Your Breakfast With This Xbox Toaster
So does this thing have a billion teraflops or can it play Hogwarts Legacy on a screen on the back?
No, it’s just a toaster. Well I say that, but it is a replica of the Xbox Series S digital only console, so it’s essentially the coolest toaster on the market today.
There’s no hidden trickery or a modded screen that you can use to play Tak and the Power of JuJu on it (at least not yet at any rate).
What it does have, however, is some hi-tech toasting facilities to give you the perfect shade of scrummy toast in a morning.
Take advantage of six shade settings to get that level of golden crispiness just right, and if you’re really bored, then you can also sit and watch the LED timer counting down the remaining seconds until your toast pops.
Think of it as the toasting equivalent of your loading screen, only instead of gameplay you get to break your fast.
Oh, and did I mention that it burns the Xbox logo onto your food? How cool is that!
You can also defrost a whole bunch of breaded goods too in this thing, from bagels to waffles and beyond. Just don’t go sticking a breaded chicken fillet in there or anything; keep it to stuff you can put jam and Nutella on, people.
What Is The Price Of This Warm Gaming Slice?
This toaster originally dropped on Walmart, but as you can imagine, it sold out insanely quickly online. Your best bet is to head to eBay to pick one up at a price that might burn a bigger hole in your pocket than the original $39.99 price tag.
Will you be buying an Xbox toaster for your kitchen? What other gaming items would you like to see on your worktop? Maybe a Pokemon pasta maker or an Atari air fryer, perhaps?
Hands off that last one; I’m calling 50% shares if you’re reading this, Atari!
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Seb Santabarbara has bought every Nintendo console that has ever been released in his 34 years on Planet Earth. His favourite game franchise is Zelda, and he’s patiently waiting for Banjo-Kazooie to come back to the fold. When he’s not playing games, he’s travelling the world in his self-converted camper van.